The Fifties
Trees feel the fifties
in their tip-top leaves --
ever so slightly not as green.
Bees feel the fifties
in their crystal wings --
buzz-uzz-uzzing sluggishly.
Runners feel the fifties
in groups of twos and threes --
comfortable in shirt-sleeves, breathing easily.
I feel the fifties
slightly differently --
cycling along...they're in my knees!
©Mary Lee Hahn, 2016
This is a poem I "jotted" in my digital writer's notebook (aka my phone) last Saturday morning. As I cycled along, enjoying the crisp (temporary) 55 degree weather, bits of a poem began coming to mind. I stopped a couple of times to capture key phrases in voice memos. When I got home, I wrote out a draft in my paper-pencil writer's notebook and worked on it throughout the weekend. The verse about the crickets chirping with greater urgency didn't make the cut.
The poem is true and untrue in a couple of ways -- I felt the fifties in my knees because they got cold in the first few blocks, but (thankfully) I don't feel the fifties (years) in my knees (knock wood and I'm not even going to say yet) while I'm cycling!
Happy Poetry Friday! Amy has the roundup this week at The Poem Farm.
Oh - but it is the THOUGHT of the years that makes that final line dance jaunty knee-high lifts of laughter. Love it!
ReplyDeleteI love the bike and your clever word choice! More importantly I'm glad to see the product I read about earlier this week!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fun poem. I like picturing you bicycling along thinking poetic thoughts. :)
ReplyDeleteThat temperature sounds nice by comparison! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is adorable, but wouldn't work as well if written by a Canadian...temperatures in the fifties in Celsius wouldn't make anybody very comfortable....!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteA phone is great for those spontaneous ideas, isn't it? I especially appreciate the ability to dictate a few words & be on my way again. I enjoyed the perspectives of the different creatures experiencing the same temperature.
ReplyDeleteLove this poem and the peek into your process. I need to use that voice memo feature to record the random thoughts and phrases that buzz through on their way to somewhere else! Love how you captured the effects of that cooler day on everything and everyone.
ReplyDeleteYour first stanza is my favorite, Mary Lee. I like imagining the trees feeling the change in their extremities.
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ReplyDeleteI won't be feeling the 50s in temperatures for quite a while. Love this fun poem. Makes me ready for fall!
ReplyDeleteI love that first stanza, too - especially because I saw this last weekend in upstate NY.
ReplyDeleteWonderful news that your knees were only cold! And love the idea of comparing those fifties, unique perspectives!
ReplyDeleteLove that the temps are in the fifties and your knees aren't! Funny how the brain doesn't acknowledge the fifties until the body makes us aware!
ReplyDeleteWe had a few mornings in the 50s last week that were lovely. Sadly, my joints don't care what the temperature is! I love how you structured this poem, Mary Lee. It was fun to read after learning about its origins earlier in the week.
ReplyDeleteOh, I wish it were as cool here as it is there! I love this nifty fifty poem!
ReplyDeleteOh, those fifties sneak up fast --- kinda like they do in this poem. You're thinking about other things, busy with life and then, BAM it's a 50th. LOL. Great take on fifties. Enjoy the cooler weather too. Western NY is the BEST place for fall, Tara!
ReplyDeleteIt never gets as cold as the 50s here, but the age of the 50s is approaching me rapidly! Love your poem.
ReplyDeleteSuch a clever, fun poem and it was delightful to ride along with you during the process. Love the overlap of temperature and age.
ReplyDeleteYour poem reminded me of my time in Europe where practically everyone ride a bike (except for moi, since I've never learned how to, boohoo). Love all those connections and how you shared your own creative process.
ReplyDeleteAh, fall, how the reduction in temps comes as a relief. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you pull over to do your memos! I don't need to learn of one more way cell phones can kill their users! I love the poem! You should do a second one about the crickets. A haiku?
ReplyDeleteI love using my cell phone this way when I'm walking. Glad those knees are still pumping along.
ReplyDeleteThose crystal wings! xx
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