If You Change Nothing, Nothing Will Change

I love this story.

It used to mean just one thing to me: the importance of the individual, working against all odds to make change.

It still means that, but now it means so much more. I am learning to read the world through a more critical lens. I understand that framing action with individuality is a privilege that comes with my white skin. Now I see the hummingbird as Black people working tirelessly to put out the fires of racism while all the other animals are transfixed and made helpless by the raging fire. Especially the elephant. The elephant in the room. The elephant of Whiteness and white privilege, who holds so much power and could easily make a big difference in putting out the fire.

Now this story is reminding me that no matter how much good I (an individual) do in the world, the real power is in the We (lots of us working together).

That brings me to the quote in the title of this post, which has been haunting me these past several weeks as I thought of myself as the I, rather than the We. In my life in the past several weeks, nothing much has changed. Oh, I'm reading more, learning more, planning for better units of study, volunteering, protesting, donating...but my life has not been substantially changed by the events of the past month. Not by the police brutality, not even (too much) by the pandemic. Me, me, me.

However, when I look at myself as a part of different groups (We), I know that collectively, WE are making a difference.

I belong to NCTE, and WE are making a difference in centering the scholarship and expertise of Black members in all kinds of ongoing events that educate and empower teachers to address issues of race and justice in our classrooms and to work to change the systematic racism in education.

I belong to a Blessings in a Backpack delivery team, and WE are making a difference in our school community by delivering food to families in need on a weekly basis.

I belong to a local community who will no longer patronize a favorite restaurant that has left in place problematic policies and has refused to support Black employees. WE are making a difference by carefully choosing what businesses to support.

Perhaps my life doesn't seem to have changed much (me, me, me), but OUR world is changing.

WE are making a difference.
We ARE making a difference.
We are making a DIFFERENCE.

Every hummingbird drop of change makes a difference. Hummingbird drops of change can inspire elephant trunks full of change. It all matters. Every action toward justice is necessary.

Lessons From a Bike Ride

There are two kinds of hills on my morning bike rides. 

There's one that's a short but intensely steep climb. Yesterday, I had to stand up on my pedals to make it to the top, and when I got there, a jogger cheered for me, impressed that I made it all the way.

The other is the long, steady incline that gets me home. I made it to the top of that one, too, but there was no one there to cheer for me or be impressed by me.

I've been thinking about those two hills while I continue to process the words of Brendan Kiely and Jason Reynolds during Sunday's The Author Village livestream, especially the comparison of living with my own racism to an addict living with their addiction. An alcoholic's work is never complete. They are never not an alcoholic. Every day is a long, steady incline. The same is true of my racism. I can't expect to get to the top of one steep climb (with cheerleaders at the top) and be done. Every day I need to wake up asking myself, "What will you do today to recognize and correct your own racism and the racism of the society in which you live?"

There are two kinds of hills on my morning bike rides.

Both kinds of hills will make me a stronger biker. There are also long sections where the way is flat and the riding is easy. I will not let those parts make me complacent. I will not seek out rides that are completely level. Because, while I know that

there are two kinds of hills on my morning bike rides,

I also know that there are mountains out there to scale as well. Let's get going.

You Can't Be Neutral

Yesterday, I couldn't get anything accomplished. I spent the day horrified and angry by the events of the day.

Just weeks after two men were arrested for killing Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd was killed by police officers in Minneapolis.

And then Amy Cooper.  I watched the video of Amy Cooper calling 9-1-1 and then read Ibram X. Kendi's words on Twitter.

And, I have been thinking about the words and Ibram X. Kendi's response to Amy Cooper's apology.

And then I read this important piece by Ibram X. Kendi's in The Atlantic, 

"Who Gets to Be Afraid in America?"

"You can either be racist or you can be antiracist. 

You can't be neutral."

As a white woman, I have learned that much of being anti-racist has to start with a commitment to do a lot of internal work. I am grateful for the many people writing and sharing and having honest conversations with me,  so that I can begin the internal work needed to be anti-racist.

For me, reading and reflecting has been important for starting this internal work.  A few years ago I started a Padlet where I collected articles and posts that were important--that helped me reflect and begin to unlearn.

But it's the books, the deep dives into the issues of race, white fragility and racism that have been most powerful for me. This is a lifelong journey and these books have helped me begin. I've shared these books over and over and over in workshops and professional meetings.

These books are not easy reads. They are books that pushed me to reflect and realize and unlearn. These are the books that have been important to me so far and I highly recommend each one.  And I highly recommend following each of these authors on social media and then following people whose work they cite and share. And when you finish with these. find more to read and study and unlearn all of the racist ideas you may have.

So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo

Stamped by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi

White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo

This Book is Anti-Racist by Tiffany Jewell

We Want to Do More Than Survive by Bettina Love

My first step in this anti-racist work is to do my own internal work and these books have been helpful so far.  I've read them and I've also bought them for people I know. But this is only the first step.
As I mentioned early, this is a lifelong journey. So much catching up to do in this work. So I have a summer stack started.  I have found that audiobooks are a great way to experience some of these books. I have also found that I can't read these books cover to cover--I need time as I read to process, reflect and reread.  These are not quick reads.  I have found that every book and author I find leads me to another. So, on my stack this summer I have:

(finish) How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi (I've started the on audio but need to spend more time with it each day so that I can finish it.)

An Indigenous People's History of the United States for Young People by Jean Mendoza, Debbie Reese and Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz (I've started this one but need to finish and reread more deeply.)

Me and White Supremecy by Layla F. Saad

Hood Feminism by Mikki Kendall

Lifting as We Climb by Evette Dionne

Dark Sky Rising by Henry Louis Gates Jr.

I can't think about yesterday's news without connecting these two events and without doing something. I know reading is not enough but it has been an important step for me and one I hope more people take.