Friday, March 16, 2012

Poetry Friday -- Whacked

Flickr Creative Commons Photo by Peasap


BIRTHDAY PARTY — CHECKLIST

by Mary Lee Hahn

Children — driven
Presents — given

Cake — gobbled
Apples — bobbled

Donkey tail — tacked
Piñata – whacked

Games — played
Mom’s nerves — frayed



I still can't believe I won my bracket in Round One of Madness! 2012 -- the Children's Poetry Writing Tournament over at Ed DeCaria's blog Think Kid, Think!

This poem surprised me. My prompt was "whacked." I have two pages of brainstorming and false starts in my notebook before the phrases "Donkey tail -- tacked" and "Piñata -- whacked" show up. Then my poem changed from a bad kid with a baseball bat to a birthday party. 

I didn't think about what a risk it would be to submit a poem with only 18 words. I guess the moral of that story is that word choice is just about everything in poetry. (Maybe in all writing?)

The poems in the second flight of round one are still open for voting. Go over and enjoy all the brand-new sparkly-fresh poems (and vote)! Then go to the Poetry Friday Roundup at Greg's blog, GottaBook.

12 comments:

  1. Mary Lee, I thought your entry was really clever and I love how spare it is. Only eighteen words - but eighteen PERFECT words. A well-deserved win! :)

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  2. Oooh, I agree with Renee! This one really stood out to me. Wonderful, Mary Lee! GO, you, on to Round Two!

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  3. Congratulations, Mary Lee! It's a great poem. I really like the checklist form.

    Janet Wong sent me information about the poetry tournament. I would have loved to have participated--but I just don't have the time. It sounds like such fun!

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  4. Congrats on winning your round one bracket! A wonderful poem for sure (I especially love the second stanza).

    Checklist = brilliant!

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  5. Really a great idea for 'whacked' & the pinata, Mary Lee. Congratulations!

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  6. Yep, I loved it too - congratulations on moving up and on! (Have a piece of candy....)

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  7. Loved the poem, Mary Lee, and interesting to see how you got there. Thanks for sharing....

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  8. Congratulations. Your poem is a really memorable one. Well done.
    It is such a tight concise poem. Every word perfect. WOW!

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  9. Oh, well done! Clever, concise and just fun!

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  10. Congrats on your win, Mary Lee. My kids voted on your poem -- they really loved it.

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  11. You amaze me all the time with the poetry you write. The fact that you won a round is just icing on the cake. Congratulations!!

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  12. Congratulations, Mary Lee. Lovelovelove the poem! The last two lines remind me of myself each time my daughter has one of her huge birthday celebrations! :)

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