Tuesday, October 01, 2013
Slice of Life
When my doctor told me I'd have to take 6 weeks off school due to my never-ending concussion, I was not happy. (understatement) But once I'd been home for a few days, I decided I should use my time well. There was little I could do as much of my life is consumed by "brainwork", so I decided to spend some time doing spring cleaning and finding some new hobbies--planting some things, learning some crafts, etc. I decided that regardless of how unpleasant it was to stay home, at least I'd have a clean house and I'd have learned some new crafts! I was determined to do all of those things I always meant to do if only I had the time.
Fast forward a few months. I went into our guest bedroom and I noticed a pile of odds and ends in the corner. Things I was meaning to donate or put away or toss. I looked around the house and noticed other little piles waiting to be dealt with. I realized that these were all remnants of my concussion days. Those first weeks of time off work. Those weeks of figuring out who I could be without doing the things I love most.
Well, it is now October, 3 months from when the concussion restrictions were lifted. And, guess what? I still haven't taken care of that pile and my guest room closet is a little bit of a mess again. The minute I had restrictions lifted, I went back to my "regular" life.
And, the tomatoes I planted? Well, you can see in the photo above how those turned out...I pretty much forgot about them the minute I was able to get back to my life of reading, writing, exercise, work, thinking.
I'm always looking for the big lessons in life and it seems that there is something to learn from all of this. My thinking is that the lesson is about accepting the fact that I am who I am. I had some time to live my life without those "brainwork" things that I love most. I tried some new things, most of which I haven't held onto. Because really, when given the choice between cleaning and reading, I choose reading. When given the choice between watering tomatoes and almost anything else, I choose almost anything else. At some point, I imagine the piles will get to me enough that I choose to take care of them before I choose to sit down and read a book. But, not today.
If there are a few extra piles around the house, chances are I found something to do that was more worthwhile than dealing with them. Rather than looking at the dead tomato plants or the pile on the floor and beating myself up about not doing all that I have decided "I should", my concussion weeks taught me that I am the one who gets to choose how to spend my time. And that alone is a gift, something to celebrate. I realized that I have taken that for granted all of my life.