Friday, September 14, 2007

Poetry Friday -- Special Delivery

Even if you're completely overwhelmed by ARCs and review copies, you gotta admit: your heart beat a little faster this week when the L.L. Bean Christmas catalog came.

Why I Have A Crush On You, UPS Man
by Alice N. Persons

you bring me all the things I order
are never in a bad mood
always have a jaunty wave as you drive away
look good in your brown shorts
we have an ideal uncomplicated relationship
you're like a cute boyfriend with great legs
who always brings the perfect present
(why, it's just what I've always wanted!)
and then is considerate enough to go away
oh, UPS Man, let's hop in your clean brown truck and elope !

The rest is here. Round up is at Hip Writer Mama.


  1. GREAT poem! UPS rocks!

  2. But what would I tell my dog if I hopped in the UPS truck? She HATES him. :)

    How fun! Thanks!

  3. Mary Lee,

    Does the UPS in your poem stand for Ultimate Package Stud? I, too, love the "Boys in Brown!"

  4. Ha! Have you read/heard David Sedaris' Santaland Diaries? Before he decides to seek employment as a Macy's elf, he applies to UPS. When they ask him why he wants to work for them, he pauses and then says he likes the brown outfits.

  5. I'm definitely into my UPS man and all things brown, especially chocolate. Thanks for a fun read.

  6. Anonymous7:58 PM

    That is so funny! I would certainly be lost without my UPS driver. Especially around the holidays...

  7. I'm glad I gave you all a laugh. I was cracking up when I read this the first time!

    Elaine -- Ultimate Package Stud -- I LOVE IT! It will never be United Parcel Service in my mind again!

    Akelda -- I LOVE David Sedaris!

    Sara -- Is your dog named "Conscience" by any chance? :-)


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