Giving Myself Permission to Read for Myself

I realized over winter break and then again at spring break that I was not really enjoying my reading life anymore, I had become so committed to reading all of the new middle grade novels that my students might enjoy that I had lost my own identity as a reader. I was no longer reading books that I wanted to read but I was frantically trying to keep up with books I thought I should read. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE middle grade novels--they are my favorites and I love the books I've read recently.  But when reading started to feel like an assignment I had to step back. So this year, I committed to not focusing on what I thought I should read, and not planning too far in advance but to really read books that I wanted to read. To build reading as a person (not only as a teacher) back into my life. I gave myself permission to read more adult fiction, to not stress about missing some books that might be the best read aloud for next year and to just read. So in 2019, I've read some great --not for school--books. Adult fiction and nonfiction, YA, etc.  Here are some of my favorites!

Shout by Laurie Halse Anderson is a must read. This memoir in verse is powerful and the writing is gorgeous. It is one I will read again.

Internment by Samira Ahmed is another must read. An important very near-future story.  It is eye opening and terrifying. Samira Ahmed is brilliant and I really don't have the words to say how important this book is.

Becoming by Michelle Obama is one I am listening to. Michelle Obama narrates the book which is amazing. Hearing her voice makes me happy.  I listen to this one on my drive to and from work and it is long (19+ hours) so it is taking me a while to read. But I love that I am listening to a bit a day and savoring Michelle's story.  Every day, I seem to love this book more. 

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens is one that my cousin recommended HIGHLY a few months ago. I have to admit that I had a lot of trouble getting into this one. I only stuck with it because it had come so highly recommended. SOOOO glad I stuck with it--about halfway through I was hooked. I loved this book and the characters are some of my favorite characters of all time. I think they are characters who will live with me forever.

The Path Made Clear by Oprah Winfrey was a quick read. I love self-help books and Oprah is my favorite in helping me reflect and move forward in life. In this book, she compiles voices of many of my favorite people and the book is helpful in inviting reflection about our journey in life.

I am so glad I discovered Austin Channing Brown, author of I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness. This book is mostly memoir that gives us a lot to think about. This is one I'll read again soon I think. And so glad I discovered her Instagram feed. I highly recommend following her if you are on Instagram (@austinchanning).

I picked up My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite while bookstore shopping with a friend.     I am not a huge reader of mysteries/thrillers/crime books. But I did enjoy this one. I can't say I loved the characters but I couldn't put this book down once I got started. Such a unique story and some clever wit and writing. I am sure I will read this author's next book.

Confession: I Have Never Read Harry Potter

It's true. I have never read Harry Potter. I admitted this here on our blog over a decade ago and have still not read the series. I started the first book 10 times and never got past page 63. It wasn't that I didn't like the book. It just wasn't a priority for me when it first came out.  And then all of a sudden there were 7 books--each one longer than the last, and reading the whole series seemed like an overwhelming endeavor. And there are so many new books I am dying to read, taking the time to read Harry Potter has not been a priority. until now.

Last year, I attended two of the Scholastic Reading Summits. (The Summit is always one of my favorite days of summer, BTW.). Scholastic was celebrating 20 years of Harry Potter and the new paperback editions of the book were available.  And after the summits, Scholastic sent me this fabulous boxed set! Thank you Scholastic!  I took this gift as a bit of a sign that maybe it was time to read the books!I don't keep it a secret that I haven't read the Harry Potter books but sitting in that room at the Scholastic Reading Summit in Chicago, I realized how many of the references I just don't get. I was sad that I wasn't part of this conversation around books that so many people in my world have experienced.

Also, this summer, we are taking a trip to Disney and may spend a day at Universal's Harry Potter World. My family is obsessed with Harry Potter. All of them read the books more than once and one of the movies seems to be on quite often at our house.  I walk into the family room and my husband and daughter are often on the couch rewatching one of their favorites.  They are all abuzz about the things we'll do and they keep making references to the story and characters that I just don't understand.

So I decided it was time to read the books. For many reasons. I teach 5th grade and the first few books are perfect for 5th graders.  I have huge Harry Potter fans in my classroom each year and it seems crazy that I haven't read them. And how can I miss out on experiencing Harry Potter world as someone who read and loved the books?

In my post from 2007, I said, " If I read it later, which I very well may do, I will know so much from the talk, the media, just by being part of the world. I won't come at it as everyone else did. "   I get the jokes in the world enough to know they are Harry Potter references but I don't really understand them. I told my family last week, before starting the first book, "I kind of know all the characters and what happens from just living in the world."  They both looked at each other and rolled their eyes. And really, I know better than that.  Hearing about a book and a set of characters does not compare to experiencing the story. Of all the things I know in the world to be true, I do know this.

Last week, I read book one of Harry Potter. I enjoyed it. Totally enjoyed it. And I have started on Book 2.  I am not sure I will read all 7 in a row but I think you can say I am hooked and I am confident I will finish the series in the near future.  I am so happy to be reading them. And I am hoping to watch the movies after I read each book, when I can.

I share this babbling story of my Harry Potter reading for several reasons:

1. We all have these "book gaps"--books that is seems everyone has read but books that we've missed somehow. It seems to be a point of shame for readers who pride ourselves on keeping up and that's silly so I wanted to make this book gap public. It is never too late to enjoy a good book.

2. Sometimes we forget about the great books that aren't brand new. I have spent the last several years reading books as they are published, keeping up on the best and newest books that I sometimes forget about the fabulous books I've missed in my reading life. For my students, I am worried that I have focused too much on the new books and have forgotten to highlight all the great books from  past years. Lesson to self.

3.  Hearing about a book, walking through a room where the movie is playing does not compare to reading the actual book. Just a reminder.

4.  The thought of reading the Harry Potter series has been overwhelming to me. Most of my family and friends read the books one per year as they were published.  That seemed doable. But now that there are seven (and some are very long), it seems to overwhelming. I wonder if our kids feel that way about some of our series and classics?

5.  I imagine there are other teachers out there who have not read Harry Potter. If anyone wants to read it for the first time with me this summer, would love to have a little support group as I think I might be the only reading teacher who has never read it.

I'll keep you posted!

Imagine

Imagine

the silent bubble of April

twirling

over garden, 

over nest.

Follow.

©Mary Lee Hahn, 2019

Haikubes With Hem

my balance calls

I slowly return home 

the glorious next

©Mary Lee Hahn, 2019

Hem is sad to see Poetry Month drawing to a close. He'll miss stealing haikubes from the pile and batting them underneath the couch. And they are so fun to lay on while Mom is trying to choose just the right ones. But how come she can bat them around with her paws, but I get in trouble for the same thing, Hem wonders. 

I am also sad to see Poetry Month coming to an end. Sad, and yet needing all my time and energy to focus on "the glorious next" of May in 5th grade. My balance will just have to keep calling until the end of the month. That's the way this gig works. Wouldn't have it any other way.  

The Key to Happiness: Some Food for Thought

Today's challenge:
One randomly drawn prompt
and one randomly drawn paint chip.

The Key to Happiness: Some Food for Thought

You want everything to be plum perfect?
I'm here to tell you you're as likely to get a lemon

as you are a piece of cake.

You might be the big cheese,

and as cool as a cucumber,

but you'll still get your goose cooked now and then.

Take this with a grain of salt

or take this like candy from a baby --

the key to happiness is

not worth a hill of beans

unless the fruit of your labors 

is a bowl of cherries 

that you are willing 

to share.

©Mary Lee Hahn, 2019

Found

Found

Squirrels
nip the tips
off branches.

You can tell
because the cut
is slanted.

The size of oak's leaves
has doubled
in a week.

Some are cupped
(to receive sun?)
all are fuzzy.

Look at the table.
This is how shade happens in spring:
suddenly.


©Mary Lee Hahn



None of the usual poetry tools today, just this twig in a glass on the kitchen table.

A Lazy Symphony

A Lazy Symphony

so much depends
upon

a delicate spring
moment

languid with sweet
beauty

a lazy symphony of
flowers


©Mary Lee Hahn, 2019


This is another "cross-out" poem, an idea shared by Laura Shovan in her Nerdy Book Club Poetry Month FB event. I wrote one inspired by Emily Dickinson last Sunday. This one was inspired by William Carlos Williams' Red Wheelbarrow.

Carol V. has this week's Poetry Friday Roundup at Beyond LiteracyLink.

And Then on Top of Everything Else

And Then on Top of Everything Else (a teacher's rant)

Let's set the stage--
the calendar page
hasn't turned to May
yet every single day

is filled to the brim
and you're drowning, can't swim,
got to keep the momentum
and don't even mention

paperwork
meetings
testing
talent show
field trip
author visit
summer reading.

On top of all that
(magnify the impact)
the impossible curse of your body:
you're sick.
(Pass the toddy.)


©Mary Lee Hahn, 2019

New Little Tree

We added a new member to our garden family on Earth Day. Welcome, Cranberry Viburnum! Nature's first green is sometimes red!

I accidentally left all my poetry tools at school, but luckily, there's Magnetic Poetry Online! Here's a haiku for our new little tree:

©Mary Lee Hahn, 2019

Uncle Bob -- A Prose Poem

A jumble of memories

Uncle Bob was not my uncle. He was my dad's cousin, but the closest thing to family we had. He also was not a cowboy, but if you saw his slow, bow-legged saunter, his cowboy hat, his blue jeans and western snap-fasten shirts, that's what you might think. You wouldn't know by looking that he was the canniest dry-land farmer in the Great Plains of Eastern Colorado. He was born and raised in the part of Colorado without mountain peaks and rich soil. His landscape was wide and flat and dry. Dirt roads with thistle in the ditches marked the edges of native grassland pasture and wheat fields. Uncle Bob had a deep understanding of the land he farmed, never succumbing to "the grass is greener" mentality of irrigation. He was a dry-land farmer whose harvest depended on the land and the weather. There were good years with enough moisture, and plenty of years with dust devils and tumbleweeds before the rain came...or didn't come. In the summer, many a cumulonimbus cloud appeared on the horizon, only to take its rain elsewhere, but perhaps also its hail. A winter blizzard was a mixed blessing of wind that carried topsoil away and brought moisture that did or didn't cover the fields to nourish the winter wheat. Uncle Bob secured his success by collaborating with the land and the climate, but he allied with another of the vast natural resources of Eastern Colorado for his final venture -- harvesting the wind with graceful lines of enormous turbines.

In my mind, it is night. I stand in the dusty yard where I played as a child, rusty tractors along the fence, the Milky Way a bright smear across the impossibly dark sky. Uncle Bob is in it all -- land, sky, and wind.