"You'll notice a couple of changes in this version of our poem. Jone's first line has been edited slightly, at Jone's request. (She and Joy decided "deposits" was redundant.) Also, I've broken the lines into couplets (one way to add white space to long lines."
I'm a flatlander from the arid prairies of eastern Colorado. I know nothing about deltas, let alone mermaids. This will be a stretch for my imagination! Excuse me for a minute while I go do some research!
...I hope Irene won't mind if I change her period to a comma! I'll leave my line unpunctuated for Michelle (Today's Little Ditty) to do with as she will!
She lives without a net, walking along the alluvium of the delta.
Shoes swing over her shoulder, on her bare feet stick jeweled flecks of dark mica.
Hands faster than fish swing at the ends of bare brown arms. Her hair flows,
snows in wild wind as she digs in the indigo varnished handbag,
pulls out her grandmother's oval cuffed bracelet,
strokes the turquoise stones, and steps through the curved doorway.
Tripping on her tail she slips hair first down the slide... splash!
She glides past glossy water hyacinth to shimmer with a school of shad,
listens to the ibises roosting in the trees of the cypress swamp
I am happy to see the addition of sound. Thanks, Mary Lee.
ReplyDeleteI just thought we needed to slow down a bit, savor the moment before the action continued...
Delete(most of the conversation is over at Poetrepository)
I live near the cypress swamp. I am so excited that's where we are going. I'll have to add images on Sunday!
ReplyDelete